So... I wore my first crop top in public (or private for that matter) this past weekend. Nervous? Yes. Afraid of someone thinking/saying something rude about the fact that I am not 20 years old, or 115lbs? At first. But... I wore it anyway. FUK it. Haters gonna hate. Wearing one was on my (fashion) bucket list. Superficial? So what. You only live once, do what you want. I just acted like I could pull it off until I wasn't thinking about it anymore. Not a big deal for some women out there, but the rest of you get why I was a bit terrified. Wanna feel pee-your-pants vulnerable?? Just bring up the subject of stomach skin. That shit is scaaaaary.
Okay, enough about shirts that look like they spent too much time in the dryer...
I try to be somewhat positive on the blog, because the world is tough enough, right? And you don't come to this page in the hopes that what you read here is going to make you feel like shit. But, bear with me for a sec. I feel like there is a lot of really big, scary stuff going on lately in the lives of the people that I love very much. Life changing things. Depression, disease, fear of the unknown, tragedy, accidents, crushing sadness, hopelessness, emotional wounds that won't heal, etc. That's not to say that good things aren't happening too, but I feel like it is storm season for a lot of people in my life.
Do you know what I mean by that? If you look back on your life I am sure you can think of times where you were going through some pretty major storms. I have a few big ones that stand out to me in my life. Scary shit. Shit that forever changes you. The kind of things that define you. Like... there is the person you were before that specific event/news/change and the person you were after. Never quite the same.
It's VERY hard going through that stuff, because when you are in the middle of it, it's almost impossible to see beyond it. Past it. Around it. It feels like the rest of the world should stop spinning because your world is falling apart. But, it doesn't and that brings up a whole new, additional set of stressors.
When I don't know what to say. When I don't have the words for the people I love, I turn to quotes. I get a lot of encouragement through the written word. I just figure that at some point in history, someone out there said some pretty epic shit and it got written down along the way.
I was gathering some quotes together to send to someone I love, and I thought that maybe one or two of you out there could use them too. So, if you're down, sad, discouraged, feeling hopeless, or just need to be reminded that "this too shall pass"... here you are. I hope that one of these "speaks" to you.
(For you... my sweet Mama, and also for you... my dearest friend, my soul's mate. You know who you are.)
|Dress: Calvin Klein (TJ Maxx), Shoes: Lotus (15% off online- coupon code: MODA), Belt: Target, Bag: Aldo, Watch: Michael Kors, Bracelet: a little jewelry store in Savannah, GA a few years ago|
I love this dress.
I scored it at TJ Maxx almost 5 years ago for... wait for it......... 32 US dollars. YUP. It was originally like one million trillion dollars. (I am pretty sure that was the price anyway.) They had just one there... and it was in one of my favorite colors... and it was in my size... AND the price had been reduced like 5 times. It was meant to be. Clearly.
I love scoring shit on sale. Makes me happy. And this particular deal still makes me happy; 5 years later. I remember walking out of the store with this feeling like I stole something. I had this big, shit-eating grin on my face, walking tall, shoulders back, like... WHAT WHAT?!
When I put this dress on last week it felt brand new all over again because I had only ever worn it two times before; both times in 2010. I grew out of it almost as soon as I bought it. You like how I put that? "I grew out of it." Like I am a pre-pubescent teenager who hit a growth spurt, and not a grown ass woman who gained a bunch of weight. Hahaha... same diff'. (Whatever... shit happens.)
As I write this I am sitting at my dining room table with a blanket over my lap, all showered up, face exfoliated and moisturized, chilling in my robe. I am enjoying my second glass of wine, digesting a beautiful meal (click here to check it out) I made just for myself. For no particular reason. Did I mention that it is a Saturday night at 9:30? We were supposed to go out tonight to celebrate our friend's birthday, but the manfriend's fantasy football draft went a lot later than he originally thought, so when he said he was going to be stuck in I decided to stay in too. I saw it as divine intervention, really. I was SO happy to not have to go anywhere. I have not been home before 10pm any night this week. I've worked all day, taught Pilates and/or PiYo all night. Every muscle in my body is a little sore. My ass is beat to shit. We have MAD love for our friend who is having a birthday, but the LAST thing in the world that I wanted to do tonight was to shower... shave... blow dry and straighten my hair... apply makeup... put on a dress and heels, and drive uptown to go out to a club. A club??? I'd rather GET clubbed... in the face... with a baseball bat. A bat that has metal spikes on it. The thought of having to go out tonight almost made me cry angry tears this afternoon. I mean... I fully planned on soldiering up for my girl, but I am sooooooo.... tiiiiiiired... waaaaaaaahhhhh.
Man how times have changed. A few short years ago the thought of staying in (and "wasting") a Saturday night would have been maddening. I would have felt like I was missing something. Like my beloved weekend had been cut short. Now... sweet LAWD... give me my robe or give me death.
I love staying in. Getting all clean and cozy, watching a movie or a little HGTV. I love eating good food, drinking some cheap wine, and falling to sleep whenever my body wants me to. I love waking up the next day... feeling good... going to church, and having all of Sunday to do what I need/want to do (versus being a smelly, sleep-deprived, hungover waste of space who needs to eat a pound of grease and a Bloody Mary just to even out).
Don't get me wrong... I still enjoy a night out on the town now and then (and I still love Bloody Marys), but I just can't hang like I used to. My hangovers lasts a good 2-3 days now, and I don't have time for that shit. The only thing that does make me sad though... sometimes... is thinking of all of the (borderline) skanky dresses I have hanging in my upstairs closet. It's like a graveyard. Where club clothes go to die.
The epitaph would read: "Here lies another bandage dress. Hers was a short life; riddled with Grey Goose and bad decisions."
|Shorts and Blazer: Lotus (they did not come together, but I decided to wear them together. I call this my shorts tuxedo look.) go to Lotus and get 15% off anything you buy online with code: MODA, Shoes: Jessica Simpson, Bag: Aldo, Shirt: Vestique, Bracelets: Alex & Ani|
I love Pinterest.
I'll be the first to admit it.
I have the app on my phone and late at night, when the rest of the world sleeps… I scroll the shit out of it. I pin outfits, recipes, workouts, photography ideas, and home décor pictures. (... "these are a few of my favorite things"...)
I like to be inspired by all the ideas out there, and I am convinced that at some point all the time I have spent pinning will be worth it... because I will actually go back into Pinterest and incorporate said pins into my real life.
That has never happened.
I don’t think I have ever done anything in real life that I got from Pinterest. Maybe I’ve subconsciously put an outfit together similar to one I’ve seen online, but that is about it. Perhaps you are different? Maybe you actually do all of the workouts you pin... cook the recipes you have saved... make homemade wreaths for your front door out of burlap and miscellaneous supplies from Michaels. And if you are that person… good for you. You are using Pinterest for what it was intended. You are getting ideas together, gathering inspiration, and then (and here’s the kicker) DOING something cool/creative/fun.
Cooking food, working out, redecorating your Master bedroom, and/or making toxic free play-doh for your kids is all awesome stuff that contributes to your life. However, here is the problem. Sometimes, it is easy to feel like “pinning” equates to doing. It’s like our brain gets confused as to what is real and what has simply been consumed visually.
Especially when it comes to health and fitness. Don’t tell me you’ve never got on a kick... started pinned a bunch of workouts, and then somehow felt like you actually worked out. I mean… if I just spent one whole hour looking at other women’s tan, toned abs in sports bras… reading about how to workout at home without any gym equipment, AND I pinned the "5 best moves to tone your butt". I kind of expect for my glutes to be sore after all of that. I mean… all that has got to count for something. Pinning is basically the same as doing. Right??? Sometimes I think to myself… if I used the 30 minutes I just spent pinning and got my ass on the floor and did the workouts I saved, I’d probably actually be able to go back to sleep. Or at least, I’d be doing more of a service to my mind/body.
These are the boards that really kill me though... the countless wedding inspiration boards (authored by those of us who aren’t even engaged) with names like "One Day" or "Some Day My Prince Will Come". Boards with dozens of engagement rings on them. As if you really need a board on your computer to remind you what kind of engagement ring you love. Or, for that matter, as if any man is going to be smart enough to go into your Pinterest account to figure out that you want a round solitaire with baguettes, or a cushion cut with a pave band. Oh, and how about the boards for nurseries and baby names. By women who aren’t even preggers. If you want a baby, maybe you should get off of Pinterest and… ugh, you know… get busy. Gathering inspiration is great, but the whole point is that you are gathering it for the life you are actually living. Want a baby? Stop pinning, and go have sex with your husband. Or whatever.
I mean, I get “why” we create future boards… it’s fun. I just think we need to be conscious of the amount of time we spend thinking about parts of our lives that are not real right now and maybe start spending more time truly living the parts of our lives that are not imaginary. I mean… you are pregnant for 9 months. You’ll have PLENTY of time to pin when you can’t get comfortable at 4 AM and are wide awake. Or a wedding. Chances are you’ll have that time known as the “engagement” when you can pin to your heart’s desire and not be considered cuckoo (for cocoa puffs) for doing so.
Although… that being said… the imaginary nursery that my imaginary baby will have… is going to be THE BOMB.
I think keeping a place of organized inspiration for when those monumental things do happen in your life is cool. I’m just saying that I think it is weird that a lot of people have more interesting Pinterest boards than they do real lives. It's as if looking at the things other people are doing, wearing, making, and creating somehow fills the void for us. I know that my time would be much better spent going through my own closet and putting together outfits, versus pinning pictures of clothing on people I've never met (and whose body type I do not, let me repeat... do NOT have). How about you?
Pin a recipe? Great. Make it. Then invite someone over for dinner for some real life conversation. See a workout that looks interesting? Get your ass on the floor and do it. Or, call a girlfriend up and make a date to go to her house to do the last 5 workouts you have pinned on your board. Even if you don’t leave with 6-pack abs, you’ve probably burned plenty of calories from laughing. And… you’ll feel a hell of a lot better for doing so. Pinning 1,000 different haircuts. Go get one. Live a little. That shht will grow back if you don’t love it. Goodness.
I think this is a "note to self" more than anything. I totally have pins that include almost everything I have mentioned above, and it hit me the other day... it's kind of ridiculous to sit around "pinning' pictures of things I like. It would make a lot more sense to use my time actually doing things I like, or becoming more of what I like. Pinning is NOT the same as DOING.
Trust me. If it were... I'd have a killer body, with toned abs, and a rock solid ass. I'd be a gourmet vegan chef, and live in a perfectly decorated, spotless home that looked like it came out of the pages of a magazine. It would be spotless becasue I would clean it with organic, non toxic, DIY cleaning solutions made from essential oils and vinegar. My closet would be organized (shoes included). My hair would be curled into perfect beachy waves every day, and I'd have something like zucchini Parmesan "chips" cooking in the oven. They would be baking while my homemade, gluten free cookies cooled off on a cooling rack on the counter. A cooling rack that was once a discarded wooden palette, but I found that shit, sanded it, and then spray painted gold. It looks perfect there in the all white, marble countertopped kitchen of my dreams.
|Romper: Armani Exchange (in San Fran, CA over 4 years ago), Necklace: Gift from Mexico, Watch: Michael Kors, Shoes: Lotus (15% off online with code MODA at checkout), Bracelet: Celene Stones (EM Krista at CeleneStones@gmail.com for yours - mention ModaFresca and get 15% off).|
The manfriend and I try to have a date night every once in a while on a weeknight just to break up the monotony of the work week.
On the night I wore this we decided to go to the movies. I was thiiiiiiis close to just wearing my Pilates clothes (since I was coming from teaching a private session), but I decided that I would put a little extra effort in (you know for "date night" and all) and throw some "real" clothes on. Which, I should add, happens less and less these days.
Apparently it happens SO infrequently that when he walked in and saw me dressed, he said.... "Oh, what are you up to tonight?" I said... "Uhhhh... going out with you, dude. Right? " He just smiled, apparently pleased that I hadn't forgotten about the part of my closet that houses more than just gray yoga pants and racer-back tank tops.
(Although he is not a dick and would never say that.)
AnyWHO... we ventured off of the movies, got there about 20 minutes early, and decided to have a glass of wine. While we were doing that we ran into this guy we know who runs the movie theater. We asked him what he was up to tonight. He pointed to a table of 3 girls (between the ages of 13-15) and said... "I'm taking my nieces to the Miley Cyrus concert. I have 2 extra tickets to our suite... do you guys want to go?"
Uh.... WHAAAAAAT??? Wrecking Ball? Party in the USA? We Can't Stop? The Climb? I looked at my manfriend with wide, hopeful eyes, kind of shaking my head up and down really quickly as if to say "Hell YES". He just looked back at me with a flat, almost defeated look as if to say... "Ugh... if we must".
So... off we went to the Miley Cyrus concert. What an experience. It was ludicrous (as I am sure you can imagine). Psychedelic dancing animals on the screen, and mascot-size versions of them dancing on stage, video of Miley in S&M bondage gear... black leather, blindfolded, cuffed... the whole nine. She wore a huge, over sized (night gown looking) t-shirt with her own face on it (HUGE tongue sticking out.. obvi). The foam finger made more than one appearance. She simulated sex with a Barbie Doll (true story). She was sans pants the entire time, favoring sequined thong bodysuits instead. She brought the Twerk Team out for a few numbers, and encouraged the audience to make out with whomever they were next to for the duration of one of her songs. It was an absolute shit show of EPIC proportions.
On the flip side of that though... the girl can sing. She sang all her hits (and I got more excited than perhaps a 34 year old woman should). She busted out The Beatles, Bob Dylan and Dolly Parton covers. I was really surprised (and pumped) when she sang one of my all time favorites by Dolly Parton, "Jolene". I was singing along at the top of my lungs. I didn't give a FUUUU who saw or heard me. I was having a moment. And... as I looked over at my manfrined, I could tell that he was having a good time too. He loves music. All kinds. (He creates and produces music, plays piano, and is a fan of all different genres. So, thank GAWD for that.)
We thought we had seen it all during the show, but it was nothing compared to walking out of it surrounded by thousands of Miley fans. Good LAWD. I had 3 times more of my body covered than even the most conservative person there. I was basically wearing a burqa in comparison. I didn't get the memo that there was a Miley fan uniform. But, in case you ever decided to go to one of her shows, here it is. In order to not stand out, you must be wearing super high waisted, denim, Daisy Duke, cut-off shorts that are NO longer than a 1/2 centimeter from your vagina, and an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny crop top that makes a bra look like a winter jacket. Oh, and if you are concerned with "dressing for your body type"... please... don't be. There was NO SHAME in their game. We saw lots and lots of bellies.... big bellies, small bellies, tight bellies, flabby bellies... ERRRYTHANG. Oh, and thighs. There was more thigh meat at that show than all of the Kentucky Fried Chicken locations on the East coast combined. It was insane. I seriously looked like a nun next to these girls. I guarantee that half of those girls got changed to go to the show in a public restroom, because I refuse to believe that parents would let their 12 year olds out of the house looking like straight up street walkers. Unreal.
Anyway... we had a great time. It was an experience FO SHO, and WAY more entertaining than any movie I have ever seen in my entire life. Entertaining... and disturbing.
|Skirt is from Lotus . If you want it, go ahead and snag it by calling the store (704-335-8884). There is only one left, a large. That is the size I am wearing. If you're out of town they can ship it to you. It's $56.00, Blazer: F21, Shirt: Vestique, Big Necklace: Bebe, Small Necklace: Dog Earred, Shoes: Off Broadway, Bracelets: Gifts|
Fact: I wore this outfit last week when I had a big meeting to attend with a Style Night Out sponsor.
Fact: When we arrived at the sponsor's corporate office, the woman we were meeting with was also wearing this skirt... with a black shirt and black shoes.
Fact: A ridiculous, blotchy, beet red color started on my chest and moved up to encompass my entire face in less than 3 seconds.
I mean... come on!?!?!? What are the chances? We looked at each other like "Are you effing kidding me????? Go home and change right NOW! No... YOU go home and change right.the.hell.now!???" We both turned red, laughed uncomfortably, and then proceeded to walk next to each other down a long (heavily populated) hallway to our meeting place. We got lots of looks of confusion, giggles, and stares.
It was uncomfortable at first... then kind of hilarious.
So.... I mentioned Style Night Out earlier. It is about that time, Mamacitas... for the biggest, baddest, most AHMAZEBALLS event of the year in Charlotte. Ohhh yeah boiiieee... OHHHH it's party tiiiiiiiiime!
Style Night Out (SNO) is a fashion show... fundraiser... and one of the BEST nights of the year in the city of Charlotte!
SNO is a fashion show that showcases the fall lines of over 20 local boutiques (no corporate department stores). All of the hair and makeup is done by local stylists and artists. The models are local, the sponsors are local, the charity < Carolina Breast Friends > is local. You get the gist, right. It's a night for Charlotte, by Charlotte, showcasing all that this city has to offer, and IT IS AWESOME.
Here's what to expect... you arrive, you browse and shop at little pop up shops, mingle with your friends, get a few drinks (or more), and have your picture taken on the red carpet. Daylight vanishes, you take your seats... all the lights dim except those on the runway. The music starts and BOOM... you are transported to another world.
That may sound dramatic, but I am telling you... there is such a buzz in the air, it is like being in New York City for Fashion Week. Truly. And... on top of the fashion, music, lights, hair, make-up, fun, draaaanks, countless selfies and hashtags... you can feel good knowing that at the end of the night a big ass check is going to go directly into the hands of a local organization that provides hope, support, education, resources, and a sisterhood for breast cancer patients and survivors in Charlotte.
So... you know that dress in the back of your closet that you bought because "someday" you'd have a chance to wear it... get it out. This is the day.
Here are the details... and I am not blowing smoke up your behind when I say that these tickets WILL sell out... so get them soon.
- What: Style Night Out
- Where: Morrison Shopping Center in South Park (where Earth Fare and Barnes & Noble are located)
- When: THURSDAY, September 4th / Doors open at 5:30, show starts at 7:30pm
- Benefiting: Carolina Breast Friends <a non-profit 501(c) (3) >
- Tickets: Tickets So Easy *** Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page to purchase**
- Cost: General Admin/Standing: $25 Runway Seating: $50 VIP Tables: $400 (seats 4, and includes champagne, extra goodies, and a private table for you and 3 of your nearest and dearest)
PARKING: Parking is available in Morrison Parking Garages, however, when they are full, please park your vehicle at City Tavern South Park at the Mall. Shuttles will be provided from City Tavern-SouthPark from 5:00pm till 11pm. Pick up will be every 10 minutes from City Tavern to Morrison. Pick up will occur at the entrance of City Tavern. Park your car at SouthPark Mall.
Alright... other than that, my only tips and tricks for surviving the night are to:
1. Bring cash for the bars.
2. Throw a pair of flats in your purse for later.
3. Make sure your phone is charged up.
4. Hashtag all your social media pics between now and then, and ESPECIALLY the night of for a chance to win amazing prizes from our sponsors. Here are some of the official tags: #SNOCLT #stylenightout #stylenightoutclt #electroluxclt (Electrolux is our presenting sponsor and they are going to be giving away AHMAZING prizes)
5. Take a "sick" day on Friday. <cough, cough, sniffle, sniffle>
5. Have a GREAT time!
|Shorts and Shoes: Lotus (buy anything online and get 15% off with coupon code: MODA), Shirt: Marshalls, All Jewelry: Celene Stones (if you email Krista to order your own custom made piece, and tell her you saw her stuff on ModaFresca, she will give you 15% off your order CeleneStones@gmail.com. Also, be sure to start following her on Instagram to see all of her latest creations! IG: CeleneStones).|
Allow me to introduce you something I have a serious LOVE/HATE relationship with...
these damn shorts.
You see, I bought these shorts from Lotus over 2 years ago. They were 30% off at the time, and the tag said they were my size, so I just bought them without trying them on. (Rookie move. I know.)
I got them home... went to try them on... and could not get them past my ass, let alone anywhere near touching in the middle (zipping them would have taken an act of God). I.Was.Pissed. Mad at myself for not trying them on at the store, mad at my ass for not cooperating, and SUPER pissed at myself for not even realizing that I had gained quite a bit of weight. SHITFUKDAMNITIHATEEVERYTHINGESPECIALLYTHESESTUPIDSHORTS. I threw the muthatrucking things to the floor, and almost donated them.
You see, if I am not careful, weight sneaks up on me. Like a damn ninja in the night. I never really notice it coming until it is there <<BIGGITY BAM!!!>> and at that point, there is enough of it hanging around that losing it seems like an epic, monumentally daunting, completely overwhelming task. So I cry, ignore it, eat really well and workout for 5-7 days and then get bored and throw my hands in the air. I always get discouraged because (although gaining weight seems to happen lightening fast) losing it is an infuriatingly slow process.
Anyway, after my tantrum, I picked the shorts up off of the ground and hung them up. Front and center in my closet, right where I would see them every day. I'd love to say that from that point on I got my shit together, took better care of myself and the weight just melted off, but not even close. I dragged my (too big for these shorts) ass around for another year and a half. Going up, and down a little here and there, but not making any life changes that stuck. I saw the shorts every day, but I just kind of ignored them. Fuk those shorts.
Now... before you get all up in arms... I am in NO WAY saying that smaller shorts should define you, that they somehow make you a better person, that they matter at all in the grand scheme of the universe. Smaller shorts don't make you a decent human being, pretty, smart, caring, healthy, loving, funny, hot, motivated, desirable, etc. etc. For gawd's sake, they are just stupid shorts. Cloth and stitching, a zipper, and waistband. Nothing that matters. BUT for me, these particular ones represented a challenge. I knew I would feel better carrying less weight around. I knew I would be in a better mood, have more confidence, live longer, sleep better, and be more fun to hang around with if I took better care of my physical body. I definitely believe that we are souls, and that our bodies are simply houses for said souls, but I also believe that you shouldn't want to house your bright, shining beautiful soul in shit shack (if you can help it).
So anyway... these are the shorts that stared back at me for over 2 years, and this weekend... I wore them. I wore the shit out of them. I even tucked my damn shirt into them just because I had room to do so. And, yes... I could have chosen to write about something less annoying (I know... "oh look... I fit into my shorts now"... I'm sure you're saying "who the hell cares about your stupid shorts anyway??? Shut up, already. "), but I decided not to talk about something less obnoxious. Sometimes its cool to talk about the dumb shit we all deal with... like having things in your closet that don't fit, and the pure, unadulterated bliss that comes on the day that they finally do.
<<< I'd do a happy dance, but... don't get crazy. These bitches barely fit. I'm not trying to bust the ass out of them on day one.>>>