I'll have what she's having...

Blazer: Lotus (15% off online with coupon code MODA), Skirt: F21, Shirt: Vestique, Shoes: Shoedazzle, Bracelet: Celene Stones (Celenestones@gmail.com 15% off if you mention this here blog) and Alex & Ani, Watch: Michael Kors, Purse: Target

YO YO YO!!! Happy Thursday.

I don't know about you, but man... this work week has sucked my will to live. I am SO ready for Friday to get it's ass here. I'm looking forward to some wine (and by some... of course I mean lots), wearing pants with an elastic waistband, and a little HGTV House Hunters (maybe even a marathon). Ahhh. Perfection.

So... I have been thinking about something lately. It was a topic of conversation at a girl's night out last Friday and I have been uber conscious of it ever since. I was sitting at a table having some food and drinks with my girlfriends. There were 5 of us. We started talking about the fact that for some reason, grown ass women are oddly concerned with what other grown ass women eat.  Here's what I mean...

*Disclaimer: I have been guilty of this shit too, but I am working on it.*

Have you ever been out to eat with a bunch of friends (other women) and done the whole... "what are you ordering? I don't know... what are you going to order?" Then one of you says... "I'm going to have a cheeseburger and tater tots." The other sighs and says... "Thank Gawd, I was going to be 'good', but I don't feel bad now. Fuk it. I'm having a milkshake, and chicken fingers."

Or (*gasp*)... you don't speak a word about what you're getting. The waitress comes to the table. The first person at the table orders nachos and mozzarella sticks, and the second person orders a salad. Hold the damn phone?!?!?!?  Now the first woman immediately goes on the defensive... "Yeah... I haven't eaten ALL day. I've been on a juice fast for 10 days. I had a bad day at work. I had a salad for lunch. I worked out twice yesterday. I have been SO good lately. I'm going to eat NO carbs all week after this meal. It's my cheat day. I ... I ... I ... " Who the hell cares? Let me repeat that... WHO THE HELL CARES?!?!

Why the justification? Why are you asking your friends permission to order what you want to eat? Why are you explaining why you "deserve" it??? Why does it matter to you if she eats a 12 inch steak and cheese Philly with chips and a beer and washes it down with a brownie sundae? If you want that, order it. If you don't. Don't. Simple, right?

Or, if you're at a table with "that girl"... you know the one. The one who can eat whatever she wants and not gain a pound. Yes, those bitches. We all know at least one (and I guarantee I am friends with at least 50 of them). They will order fried chicken and macaroni and cheese, and you will order cottage cheese and lettuce... then stop at the drive through on the way home because you are miserable. Legit "hangry" (so hungry that you are actually angry). Why try to eat like a bird becasue you are around your "skinny" friend? You'd probably be a lot more fun to hang out with if you just ordered what you want and stopped shooting laser beams of pure hatred into her chest. Am I right? I mean... it just is what it is. Every body is different and it shouldn't really matter to you, or anyone else what someone chooses to eat.

My girlfriend works in an office with a lot of women, and at a lunch meeting the other day she ate a meal... a full meal, and then got up for more, because... wait for it... she was still hungry. News flash: women get hungry too. Like FO REAL hungry. We are not all dainty little birds who celery for dinner and ice cubes for dessert. AnyWHO... my friend got back to the table with her second helping of food and felt the longing, judgmental stares of all of the women around her. "I wish I could do that. I wish I could eat that way. I wish I had your body." Oh, shut it. It was SO bad that at the end of the day, same friend was walking to her car, and one of the women from her office saw her leave and said... "Oh, are you going to the gym now to work off your lunch?"

Uh.... WHHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTT? Seriously? You're STILL thinking about what someone else ate for lunch 5 hours ago???? That is not healthy. Or cool. Not cool. Shut your fool mouth already.

It's one thing to have your own issues with food. TRUST me. I get it. It's a battle I have fought every day since I was conscious of my weight... which for me, was the 3rd grade. Yes... 8 baby years old. But at some point, we have to drop it, right? It's exhausting. Stop asking permission, stop justifying, stop announcing to the world every time you make a good (or bad) food choice... whatever that means. Eat what you want to eat. Eat for your body, lifestyle, health, pleasure, and goals. And for Gawd's sake... when you are breaking bread with other women... let them do the same.

There are enough assholes in the world. Try not to be one. Eating is fun. Don't be a fun sponge.


Still Got It?

Jumpsuit and Necklace: Lotus (enter coupon code MODA and get 15% off entire online purchase), Shoes: ShoeDazzle, Purse: Target

If you're reading this post, it means I have succeeded in "scheduling" it to go up. I have set the date and time for it to "go live" and it worked! I am as tech savvy as a friggin' sardine... so this is a big step for me.

The reason I have to schedule this one is because I am (for once) writing it before I want to post it. It's Sunday night now. I usually post on Mondays, but my tomorrow is about to be CRAY CRAY. I will have zero time. Listen to this shit... (Disclaimer: this is NOT a complaint, I'm super pumped about it.)

Wake up at the crack-o-dawn...
... work my corporate job from 8:00AM-12PM...
... attend a Style Night Out lunch meeting 12:00-1:00PM...
... go back to my corporate job 1:00-5:00-PM... 
... teach a private Pilates session from 5:30-6:30PM...
... drive 30 minutes...
... teach my beloved group Pilates class from 7:30-8:30PM, and THEN...
... go teach another  private session from 9PM-10PM.

WHAAAATT??!?!?! YIGGY YES YA'LL!!! I'm going to be tired, but it will be AHHHHHSOME.

In other news, I got the ultimate back handed compliment this weekend.

I already told a few of my girlfriends this on Friday night a few hours after it happened (well, I actually got up and reenacted it more than "told" them) but I am still thinking about it, so I thought I'd share...

I had a private Pilates client on Friday after work. I was leaving her Uptown condo walking back to my car and a group of four 18-19(ish) year old guys were walking towards me. I was in my gym clothes, mat in hand, minding my own business. As I passed them all, one looks me up and down and says... wait for it... brace yourself...

"Daaamn Girl, you stiiiiiill got it".

Um. What? Hold the phone. "STILL got it."?????

How the FUUK old do I look? Is this where I am in my life now? At the point where boys who are old enough to buy cigarettes... old enough to enlist in the Army... old enough to VOTE look at me and think... "Meh, not bad for an older lady? Do you have a daughter I could date? MILF?

As soon as what he said registered in my brain I was all like? Did that just effing happen? I'm 34. I am not 70. Still got it???????? STILL?? Do you expect "women my age" to no longer have "it". Is there an expiration date I was not aware of? I may have been born before cell phones were a thing, but I did not communicate via smoke signal. I did not turn my homework in on stone tablets, or get educated in a one room school house. I grew up with indoor plumbing and electricity. Women were "allowed" to wear pants, and have a bank accounts in their name. For fuks sake. How old did this kid think I was??? STILL have it? What the hell is that donkey crap? It can't be??? No. It canNOT be. This is the year I get my shit together. I get healthy, fit. For Gawd's sake. THIS is the summer I wear a crop top (that WILL happen. TRUST).

And then I got to thinking. Shiiiiiiit. He's right. My mom was YOUNG when she had me. How young, you ask? Welp... when my mom was my age, I was a freshman.

In college. A freshman in college.

YUP. True story.

So... I guess, if that kid found me the least bit attractive, maybe it was weird for him. Maybe I am... gag... choke... vomit... his MOM'S age.

Ah well. Time to face the facts. I am in my mid-30's and I look my age. I haven't had any "work" done. I smile. A lot. Doing that gives me lines. Around my eyes, mouth, forehead. I guess I should be thanking God that I have so much to smile about and get over the fact that some teenager considers me old enough to have had  Father Time steal whatever "IT" is from me.

I'll embrace my age, consider his shit-headed remark a compliment and keep it movin'. I draw the line at Mom jeans and tankinis though. I will not. Can NOT. (yet)



Romper, Vestique, Shoes: F21, Belt: Old Navy (old), Watch: Michael Kors, Bracelets: Alex & Ani

Sup... Sup...

So... 3 cool things happened to me yesterday.

1. I went to the gas station where I always get my coffee and Paula (you may remember the blog post about her tragic story a few months back) told me that she got a new job!!!!!  She will be working at a local hospital emergency room at the front desk. Best part... she will be making TWICE what she was making at the gas station and she should have full benefits after 90 days. I just felt like I should share that here since so may of you prayed for her, donated household items to her family, and have asked me about her. She is really excited and so happy. She will be learning more computer skills, including Excel and Word. She is really encouraged right now and still so grateful for all of our help and well wishes.

2. Five minutes later at the same gas station I was paying for my coffee and the older guy that was ringing me up and I started chatting. I looked up and noticed that he was wearing a Grateful Dead hat. I asked him if he liked the group, or just the hat. He said... "Oh no, man. I love The Dead". I have hundreds of bootlegs from their shows, I've toured with them, etc." He was super excited talking about them, and then kind of stopped as he looked at me (like... uh, what do YOU know about them though... in your high heels and red lips). I admit, I wasn't sporting anything close to the tie-dyed t-shirts, Birkenstocks, or prairie skirts of my youth, but my love did "Not Fade Away".  So... I immediately started telling him that I've been obsessed since I was 13 or 14, that my mom made me wait until I was 16 to go see them live, but then Jerry Garcia died 6 months before I turned 16... that I cried for days over it. I've been to Further Fest, seen Phil & Friends, etc. and although I've lost all of my bootleg tapes over the years (come to think of it, I don't even own a tape player any more) I still listen to them all the time. His face lit.the.hell.up. We became instant friends. BOOM. Just like that. Paula may be leaving the gas station, but I think it's safe to say that I have a new bestie there.

3. I was in line at the grocery store and this woman behind me (probably 65-70 or so) tapped me on the shoulder and said... "Excuse me Honey, do you do Pilates?" I looked down at first wondering if I had something on that said "Pilates" but I didn't. I looked up and said, I do. She said... "I can tell. I can always tell when I see people who do Pilates. They move and stand differently. I used to do it myself, and I can tell a big difference since I have stopped." I told her that I teach privates if she ever wanted to start up again. I doubt she would dig "Melates" <my group class version> (get it: Melissa + Pilates = Melates) which is loud, plays hip-hop music, and is infused with PiYo... which can be pretty physically intense. I don't know if I will ever see her again, but I had a moment right there with her. I never thought I stood or moved any differently than anyone else, but I was insanely flattered by her compliment. I thought it was weird that she said Pilates. Not yoga... or anything more mainstream, but Pilates. It was like a little nudge from God/The Universe telling me that I am exactly where I need to be, and that my body (the thing I am so quick to criticize 90% of the time) is strong and capable, and that maybe I should chill out on being an asshole to it. It was very cool.

I just thought I'd point those 3 things out, because it's so easy to see most days (especially during the work week) as regular, normal, mundane... but there are cool, inspiring, connective little moments is almost every one of them if we are open to receiving them. Does that make sense, or did you check out when I started getting all "hippy-dippy"??  Anyway... I will say one thing about this outfit (since this is a style blog after all)....

I wore this romper to a friend's birthday party a week or so ago. I love rompers, but I need to stop wearing them.

I get so pissed when I am out and have to get buck ass naked in a public restroom to go pee. This one required me to unzip a zipper behind my back... take the belt off completely... and then somehow try not to let it all drop to the filthy floor. I was holding on to it with dear life. I almost fell into the toilet getting it back on. It was dramatic. I must have looked like a reject circus contortionist.

Rompers... the struggle is real.


What Dreams May Come

Shirt and Earrings: Old Navy, Vest and Belt: Target, Shoes: Shoedazzle, Skirt: Marshalls, Ring: LeVian Collection from Jared, Bag: Aldo, Necklace: Celene Stones e-mail Krista at CeleneStones@gmail.com and tell her you saw her stuff on ModaFresca. She'll give you 15% off.

1. If it looks as though I got dressed in the dark... it's because I did.

Monday morning we were pummeled with thunder storms and our power went out. Don't get me wrong. This craziness was not an accident. I was fully aware that I was combining pink, Army green, leopard print, and blue...  but all day I was waiting for someone to comment on the obvious fact that "matching" never once crossed my mind. That or on the fact that I looked extra greasy. No power equals a cold shower.... and FUUUU*K that. Monday mornings are bad enough, a cold shower may have sent me over the edge. So, I skipped the shower all together.

Don't judge me.

2. Isn't this necklace amazeballs riDONKulous??? My friend, Krista, founder and artist behind Celene Stones made it for me. I texted her one morning and told her that I had a vivid dream the night before that I was wearing one of her necklaces, but it was in a bright, vibrant, cobalt blue. She hadn't ever seen crystals like that, let alone owned any but low and behold... 2 months later. BOOM.  Here I am with it... straight chillin' with it around my neck. She searched high and low for the stones and made me one, and I'm OB.SESSED with the damn thing. I guess you could say, it's the stuff dreams are made of. Ha... get it. Okay... not funny. That was a stretch.

3. I'm wearing my glasses in these pictures because I left the case on my desk in the office and if I don't keep them on my head at all times  I WILL lose them, sit on them, bend them, break them... or leave them somewhere my dogs can reach them, take them under my bed and proceed to destroy them. I always feel like Clark Kent in these glasses. Like at any moment I could walk into a phone booth, put on head to toe spandex and come out ready to save the world. And... if you don't get the Clark Kent/Superman reference... it probably means you are REALLY young. It also probably means you've never borrowed a quarter to make a call from a phone booth. Maybe you don't even know what a phone booth is?

Is that possible? Shoot me.


Skorts and Break Throughs

Romper: Lotus (15% off online purchase with coupon code MODA), Shoes: Off Broadway, Necklace: Target (so old that the clasp is now a safety pin), Bracelet: Stella & Dot, Rings: Lotus, Purse and Earrings: ???

Hola, Mamacitas!!! I hope everyone had a good weekend.

I had a really good one. I got a chance to do a lot of things that I love this weekend.

I spent Friday night with girlfriends (and a wee liiiiittle bit of tequila), laughing (and then sobbing). Saturday I taught a private Pilates lesson, got my nails done and did a little shopping with my sister-in-law, hung out with some friends at my brother's house, and then got dressed up and went on a double date with my manfriend. Sunday we went to church, brunch, and then when we got home and I cleaned, studied, cooked dinner and took a test for nutrition school.

I tend to completely over book my weekends/life, so not having anything that I really "had' to do, was amazeballs. It was a really good weekend.

This is what I wore Saturday night when we went out to dinner. It's a romper from Lotus. I got it almost 5 years ago and I'm still obsessed with it. I love the juxtaposition of it. The sophisticated silk top with flowy bell sleeves in a soft, pretty purple says "I'm a lady"... but then BAM... booty shorts that scream "BAD Bitch". Hahaha. Actually the bottom if this thing is a "skort".  Part shorts, part skirt. It's perfect for those times you want to look dressed up, but still be able to sit like a 4 year old in a sandbox.

Totally switching gears...

I have realized lately that a lot of people I talk to have friends that they don't really "like" that much. Is that normal? To not like people, but still call them your "friends"? I don't think that I have people like that in my life, really. If I don't like someone, or we grow apart, I don't have a big problem distancing myself from them until the relationship changes and heads more into that "acquaintance" space.

I'm sure some would say that just means I'm a bitch, but I think it's healthy actually. We are constantly growing, evolving, changing, expanding, and morphing more into who and what we want to be (hopefully, anyway). We are doing this at the same time that everyone else is. It's not strange to me that some friends (like past boyfriends or girlfriends) have seasons in your life.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who was saying that she was really hurt by the fact that one of her oldest friends had made zero effort, over and over, to spend time with her. She mentioned that she was always the one doing the calling, texting, and/or inviting, only to be kind of pushed off to the side and frankly ignored. I understood that she was very sad. This was, for a very long time, one of her dearest friends, but I asked her what I always ask myself when I encounter this...

"If you two were to meet today would you still become friends?" Like... if you met at a party would you have much in common to talk about, have any of the same hobbies, values, ideals, interests? Would you exchange numbers, call each other to hang out? Do your lives align at all? Now, don't get me wrong, you don't have to be the same as your friends, but you do have to have some commonality that brings you together. Right? If you have to think too long about the answer, or if the answer is an obvious "no" then you probably shouldn't be too surprised that the relationship has changed and hey... that's okay. Don't look at it as someone deciding NOT to be your friend. Look at it as life... as a season... as winds of change. Sometimes we have to let go of certain things on our life, brain, heart... to make room for other things (like awesome new friends). It's not a break up, it's a break through.


Long Pants and Daydreams

Jeans and Necklace: Lotus (use coupon code MODA on any online purchase, and get 15% off your order), Tank and Purse: Target, Sweater: H&M, Shoes: ?, Watch: Michael Kors, Bracelets: Alex & Ani

1. This was my casual workday look from last week (aka- just being lazy). 

The fact that it is 4 below zero at all times in my office lead to me a sweater in the dead of July, and as far as the pants go, well... truthfully, that choice just stemmed from the fact that I didn't feel like shaving my legs that morning. I think I shaved 1/2 of one calf and then gave up. Eff it.

2. These pants have a random stain on the right butt cheek of them and inevitably... every.single.time I wear them, someone points it out. 

It's been there since last year, but I always act like it must have just happened. I did that twice last week... all like... "Oh man, really???? I must have just sat in something! Dang!!!" << LIE >>. I know it's there, I just don't really care. Speaking of pants. My Grandma Hess calls them "long pants"... and now that I am older, I wonder if she thinks that shorts are in fact also called pants? Like she needs to differentiate between the short and long variety. Does anyone else's grandma/pa call them "long pants"? Is it generational, or just specific to my grandma (since the woman wears shorts 10 months out of the year... even though she lives in NY)?

3. White and blue stripes always make me think: Nautical. Like when I wear them I should be sailing on the ocean... with Ralph Lauren models or something. And I'd have a GREAT tan and that perfect wash and go hair that leaves me with effortless beachy waves (do those even exist in real life? Bitches).

It's weird how something as stupid as stripes can put you straight into a daydream. Right? I mean... black and white stripes always makes me think of Paris. When I wear black and white stripes I feel like I should be at a cafe in France, sipping espresso, and eating expensive cheese... and a croissant (but with my red lipstick perfectly in place the whole time) as I look out dreamily at the Eiffel Tower. And in that day dream I am effortlessly chic, naaaaturally thin, and a smoker... but I make smoking look super hot, not repulsive. No asthmatic cough, that would ruin it. Obviously.

4. And, on a completely unrelated note (as many of you know), I am currently in nutrition school and I have been teaching Pilates since May (and recently got certified to teach PiYo). So... I decided to create a FB page. I throw my weekly Pilates schedule on it, plant-based recipes (mostly), exercises you can do at home, and overall healthy living tips. If you're interested in any of that, head on over to Pilates with Mel and "like" it. Obviously I am not a health guru, just a real person just trying to live in a way that makes me feel good inside and out. Can I get an Amen?